Always
by ambrosesaysnope
Summary: "He laced his hand with hers and squeezed it gently. Now wasn't the time to speak to her, but he knew that a small gesture was the way to remind Alex that he was there." PunkxAlex. ILHF prequel onesot.


Disclaimer: I only own Alex, Aunt Linda, and Grandpa Mike.

A/N: A tiny bit of insight on the relationship between Alex & Punk from I Loved Her First. If you guys enjoy this one, I'll probably do a few more tidbits here and there. Read! Enjoy & review! :)

* * *

><p>Phil laced his hand with hers and squeezed it gently. Now wasn't the time to speak to her, but he knew that a small gesture was the way to remind Alex that he was there.<p>

Tears streaked down her face as she watched her grandfather's casket be lowered into the ground. He was really gone. The last part of her family that was still around was now gone. Sure, she had her aunt, but they weren't close. The woman had barely even shown up to her own father's funeral.

"Come on, baby. Let's go." He whispered in her ear. "Mourners will be heading to your house soon."

"I can't leave him just yet." Alex cried. "Everyone else can fuck off. Besides, my dear old aunt can take care of them until we get there."

He said nothing more on the subject. Instead, he just stood by her side. Holding her and comforting her every moment he could.

"I can't believe he's gone, Phil. My only family left and he passed away. I knew he was gonna go eventually, but not this soon. I thought he had at least another ten, eleven years left in him." Alex cried through her tears. "This was all just a horrible surprise. I can't help but think that he isn't gone. That this is all a nightmare and I'm going to wake up soon."

No words came from him. All he did was listen to what she had to say. Besides, nothing he could say to her would make her feel better. Every cliché came to mind, but he bit them back. The last thing Alex needed to hear was something like 'it'll be okay'. She was grieving and Phil wasn't going to be the one push her into anything too fast.

"Let's go get you some food." He suggested, leading her away from the freshly dug grave. "You're going to need all of your strength to get through the rest of the day."

"I don't want to eat." Alex wiped away the fresh tears. "Besides, you're right. There are going to be some people showing up to give their condolences."

Phil opened the car door for her and shut it when she got inside. With a small sigh, he walked around the car muttering a small prayer, something he never did, to help them both get through this.

"Fuck it, your dear old aunt is there." He smirked starting the car. "She can handle everyone until we get there. It seems like the bitch loves the attention she's been getting today."

The mourning brunette shoot him a look of annoyance. Any other time she would have laughed along with him and agreed with his words. Not that day. It was a hard day for her and not one meant to insult those around her. Even if her aunt did deserve those words, it wasn't the time to be saying them.

"I'm sorry." He grabbed her hand, kissing the back of it. "Is there anywhere in particular you wanted to go eat?"

Lacing her hand with his, she sat back in her seat and closed her eyes. She didn't feel like eating a bite. Any food that she consumed would probably only come back up anyway. Hurtful and stressful situations always did that to her. Alex had even recalled her grandmother telling her that she had been the same way when she was a child.

"I don't want to eat, babe." She whispered. "Let's just head back to my grandfather's house. People are probably already there wondering where I am."

"No, let them wait. They'll understand why you aren't there." He pointed out, turning in the opposite direction of the house. "I want you to eat something and you are going to. You haven't eaten in days, Alex, and its killing me. I don't want to see you like this."

"I just lost my grandfather." Alex cried, jerking her hand away from his. "Thanks for being sympathetic, asshole."

"I'm being as sympathetic as I can, babe. Really, I am. I've been there for you at every turn. Whatever you have asked of me in the last few days I have done for you without question." Phil barked out angrily. "I know you're hurting and I'm sorry that you are and I wish I could stop all of this from happening, but I can't. The most I can do is hold you Alex. Its a trying time, but please, for me, just eat something. You look tired and sick. You're skin is pale and your eyes look sunken in. Its killing me to see you looking and feeling like this. All I'm asking is for you to do this one little thing!"

Alex took her seatbelt off and hopped out of the car, allowing the cold wind to whip her hair around. To soothe her like nothing else could. Things had gone to shit in the last few days and the last thing she needed was Phil getting all fatherly on her. She didn't want to eat and she definitely didn't need any reminders to do so. All she wanted was for him to be there for her.

"I'm sorry for yelling." He whispered, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm just worried about you is all. Look, Alex, I'm not asking you to get over your grandfather's passing right now. All I'm asking is that you eat something to survive another day. This is hard for you, I know. But you always have me here. I'm not going anywhere."

Shrugging his arms off her shoulders, she turned on her heel and got in the car. Her eyes following his every movement until he restarted the car. When they finally started moving forward again, she rested her hand on top of his. Her blue eyes on him, finally noticing the worry there.

"Stop at the next food place you see." Alex relented. "I'll try to eat something for you."

The muscle in his jaw clenched when she finally agreed to eat something. He was going to take her home like she had asked him to. He was going to forget about getting her to eat something because she had constantly snapped when he even mentioned food.

Alex sensed his anger when he pulled into the parking lot of the nearest diner. He angrily turned off the ignition and slammed the door shut when he got out. Wiping away the fear tears she felt escaping from her eyes, she got out the car and followed suit.

"I'm sorry." Alex apologized after they had ordered. "I haven't been the easiest person to live with lately. You're just taking care of me and I shouldn't have behaved like a kid. Its just that I can't eat during times like these. Food will never stay down. I always end up throwing it back up."

Phil ran a hand through his short hair, finally bringing his eyes to hers. With a small sigh, he nodded his head. He wasn't sure why, but he did. His guess was that it was the only reaction he could think of. The last couple of days had been hard on them both. She was mourning as was he. Grandpa Mike was one hell of a guy and someone he had grown to respect and cherish as well. He wanted to breakdown as well, but he refused to. Phil wanted to remain strong for Alex and himself. There was so much he needed to say to Alex and one thing he desperately wanted to do. The sudden passing of Mike made him realize how valuable time was and he didn't want to waste another minute of it.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You've done a lot for me and the least I could do for you is eat at least one burger." Alex weakly whispered, avoiding his gaze. "Hopefully, I'll be fine."

"Like I said, I'll be there to hold you."

An hour later, Phil and Alex had gotten back home. As opposed to what they had anticipated, nobody was at the house. Not even her aunt. She seemed to be missing in action in Alex's most dire time of need. Something he had learned about this woman was that she was only out for herself.

"Looks like we rushed home for no reason." Alex muttered, running her hand across the tabletop. "Nobody is here. Not even Aunt Linda."

Desperation exhumed her entire being and that worried Phil. Even if she didn't want to face a room with people, he knew she still wanted at least a few people there to keep her mind off things.

"Forget about her." He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm here and you're here. That's all that matters."

For the last fifteen minutes she had been trying to ignore the bubbling in her stomach, but she couldn't fight it anymore. Holding her hand up to her mouth, Alex pulled away from Phil and bolted to the bathroom. Part of her hoped it wouldn't happen, but knew it would still happen anyway.

"Fucking shits." Phil cursed, hot on her heels. "I shouldn't have made her eat anything."

When he got to the bathroom, he grabbed her hair and held it back for her. No use in her getting vomit stuck in her hair. That would be the last thing she needed to add to her day.

"I'm sorry, honey." Alex cried to him when she finished cleaning up. "You shouldn't have seen that."

He said nothing as he led her to room and got her into bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Something I should have done the second we got home." Phil said when she got into bed. "Getting you to sleep."

There was no use in arguing anymore. Alex would just end up doing what he asked of her anyway.

"One condition."

"What's that?"

"You promise to stay with me."

With a small smile, he got into bed and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her to him tightly. "Always."

* * *

><p>AN: Yes or no?


End file.
